Fuck around and decide to start taking your health into consideration? We’re here for it. There comes a time where every stoner needs to reflect on weather or not they’re improving their quality of life. No matter what the budget or situation, simple changes can make a world of a difference—and we’ll never ask you to break up with mary jane!
It starts with the little things. If you pull out your rolling tray right this moment and are looking down a pack of backwoods, some zig zags, that shitty $10 grinder you swore you’d get rid of, a dirty ass pipe, or all of the above…AND you’re of legal age to buy weed? Damn dude. You’re already doing it wrong. It’s time to get your adult shit on when it comes to your smoking tools. We all get to a certain point in life where owning up to the responsibility of maintaining their general lifestyle.
That being said, the very first step is to look at your weed setup and really ask yourself if you feel confident that the things you own reflect on the life you wanna live. Feeling high-end doesn’t always mean spending a paycheck on a piece, just start with minor improvements.
1. Switch up your kit
Ditch those shitty rolling papers and switch to hemp or rice
If you’re rolling your weed with something that isn’t derived from something natural, it’s extremely likely that you’re smoking papers with harmful chemicals in them. We don’t have to be the ones to tell you how bad tobacco is for you, and if you’re still making excuses, they only burn for longer periods of time because of the chlorine bleach, potassium nitrate, or calcium carbonate in them. Don’t know what those chemicals are? Every reason not to smoke them. (they can cause respiratory issues or even cancer, btw.) You’d always rather know what you’re ingesting than not.
But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean no more juicy j’s, backwoods or shine papers with the homies. It’s just a little unnecessary for a wake n bake on a Sunday morning. There are plenty of hemp options that burn just as slow as a swisher. You don’t have to pull a Wiz Khalifa and ditch tobacco blunts altogether if that’s not part of the plan, cutting down will make a world of a difference, especially if you’re looking to get rid of smoker’s cough or take a jog without gasping for air every five minutes.
Hemp and rice rolling paper alternatives are actually widely available online and in headshops, so make the effort it buying from a place that caters to a smoker’s needs, not a corner store or a 7/11.
- High Hemp Herbal Wraps
- Twisted Hemp Wraps
- King Palm
- Hemp Zone
- Skunk Brand
- Honest Marijuana (these blunts are made from actual weed, can’t get better than that.)
Get yourself some hempwick
What is hempwick? Just a good ol’ ball of hemp string coated in beeswax. It is primarily used for smoking bowls. Not only does a typical lighter burn at 3500°F, a wick burns at half the temperature, from 1500-1800°F. The hotter the flame, the more cannabinoids that combust and are destroyed way before they even get to enter your system, so why rip yourself off?
Don’t start with the same lazy ass excuses everyone makes, how it’s an “extra step” or “extra expense.” First of all, for about $15, you are able to purchase at least 200 feet of hempwick, or more, which would last you for months. You can conveniently cut pieces to wrap around your lighters for on-the-go usage. If you don’t have $15 lying around anywhere, also, most smoke shops have under $5 options for a week’s worth of string. If you have time to put the flame of a bic lighter to your bowl and inhale, you have enough time to light a fuckin’ string.
(optional) If you don’t have glass tips, it’s worth adding to your kit!
Glass tips are to serve two purposes. To make you feel like a bad bitch regardless of gender, and to produce smoother, more flavorful hits opposed to a paper filter. These little things will give you that satisfying boujie vibe and will spice up your session by feeling a whole lot less plain. Take it from us when we say even the smallest details has the ability to bring that luxurious element to your experience, which can boost your overall mood and self-image, leading to a healthier headspace. Don’t believe us? Try it. You’ll feel like “that bitch,” we promise.
Worried about the cost? All good! These are available at every smoke shop and plenty of online retailers for cheap, even the $5 tips are thick enough to resist breaking when dropped. They do need to be cleaned each session or they’ll build up a lot of resin fast, which will counteract the benefits. The fastest and easiest way? Works best right after use. Throw it in a microwaveable safe dish, nothing you care about because it may stain. Add some water and heat for 2 minutes, then dry off with a q-tip.
Rolling tray looks like a cluttered mess? Replace it for something that organizes for you.
“How’s a new rolling tray supposed to make me ‘healthier,'” you ask?
Well, you’re forced to look at your weed kit very often, it’s inevitable. For some of us, our weed kit is such a key element in the room that guests see it almost instantly when they arrive. So, if you’re always having to see and use it, so there’s no reason to deal with a total shitshow just to load a bowl or roll a joint. Also, organization is proven to improve overall health, both psychically and mentally. So why not give your mind that “clean room” feeling every time you grab the kit for a sesh?
2. Clean your pieces and store your shit properly
If you love yourself, you’ll do it. You wouldn’t eat off a plate that’s been used several times, wouldn’t you? So don’t make me say it because I know your piece isn’t clean right now. Let the 24 hour rule be your guide, anything passed that will for sure ruin the taste of your weed, produce hits that are harsh on the throat, and could potentially permanently stain your piece. These are just the effects you can psychically recognize. Yeast, fungi, bacteria, and pathogens ALL thrive on a dirty bong. Clean it.
A real weed lover’s pet peeve is quality weed stored like schwag. Do you hate yourself, and your weed? No. Think about when you store meat in the fridge. You know its gonna go bad if you keep it in a thin ass zip lock meant for carrying cheerios or a fucking sandwich. Illegal states, just because your weed doesn’t come pre-sealed, you guys don’t have an excuse either. Say it with us… MASON JARS.
Proper storage, which is in an air-tight container away from direct sunlight or heat, not only keeps the aroma in tact but prevents the thc from degenerating which is basically throwing money down the drain. If your weed is stored in a moist environment, it can grow mold in less than a day, and consuming these spores can make you seriously ill. Don’t fuck yourself over on improper storage, okay? You’re better than that.
3. THC junk food is still junk food
Some of y’all hate to hear it, but it is what it is. Edibles defineitely had to make the list in good conscience. Junk food is terrible for our bodies in excess, something we all know and wish wasn’t true. The thing is, it’s important to be aware that not all edibles are sugary snacks, on the contrary, any food on earth can be infused with cannabis. So, if eating weed is your game, it doesn’t hurt to browse around in order to find a menu with healthy edible options near you, and if you enjoy cooking/baking, why not try and DIY?
Examples of reputable health-conscious edible companies:
- Auntie Dolores
- Julie’s Natural Edibles
- Pura Vida Health
- Utopia Edibles
- Lifted Organics
- Jambo Superfoods
- Fruit Slabs
- Craft Elixirs
Some healthy (and simple) edible snack recipies to make yourself:
- Fruit Popsicles
- Paleo Brownies
- Natrual Energy Bars
- Chocolate Dipped Bananas
- More Vegan Thc Recipies
- Cannabis Oil vs. Cannabutter (reccomends what to use depending on your own recipies, and how to make them.)
4. Research Your Companies
Do you show brand loyalty when it comes to your stash? Maybe rotate between a few favorite companies? If your answer was no for both of those questions, no big deal. Obviously, this isn’t referring to buying off the same plug for years, so if you don’t have access to legal weed, skip this section.
Anyway, if you’re walking into a dispensary wearing a fucking blindfold and holding a handful of darts as means for picking your strains, you genuinely don’t know what you’re smoking. Therefore, you don’t know if you’re getting your dollars worth. Should that bother you? If you’re in a committed relationship with mary jane, it should. Seriously, get to know the companies you give your money to. Have they been through public scandals? Gone through legal trouble for sketchy practices? Have their licenses revoked before? Do they even have a fucking running website?
We get it. Even if a company looks good online doesn’t mean they’re the shit. But it’s a step in the right direction into knowing weather you’re smoking clean weed or not. It’s really important to remember that most companies don’t give a shit about you. No sweat, it’s the world we live in, but the thing is, you don’t want to be the one smoking pesticide covered weed and dealing with the health consequences of what was nothing more than a means of making someone else money. There are plenty of companies that grow with the consumers needs in mind, all it takes is research within your area. If you have the option to buy lab tested cannabis, enjoy the luxury of being able to do so because that has to be one of the biggest indicators of a strain that was grown using safe practices.
5. Develop your ideal routine
Do you have a routine that fits best with your smoking needs? Maybe you have kids, are a student, doing fitness training, working nine hours a day, etc. Whatever the case may be, when you smoke has a major impact on how you take on the day. Make the effort to preplan your sessions so you aren’t frantically looking for eyedrops because you’re already fifteen minutes late and on an empty stomach. The absolute worst. If you use weed to mange stress levels then make sure to recognize the times you need thc in your body the most and make sure you’re able to get the job done beforehand. Here’s a great question to ask yourself, “what does the ideal routine look like, and where do my thc breaks best fit in?”
A very effective method is using your brain’s reward system in your favor. What this means is, your body’s craving for weed will push you through rougher tasks than you think. Treating your sessions like rewards will benefit your overall health and boost your serotonin levels, leading to a long-term healthy lifestyle. Looking forward to every sesh will create the feeling of gratitude multiple times a day, which is proven to improve your overall mental and psychical health by keeping you present in the moment, bringing much needed balance to the chaos that is living life.
You’re on this blog because you’re about it. You’re a stoner and proud. So are we, through and through. Each and every step is guaranteed to promote a healthier way of life both when you are and aren’t smoking the ganja. Getting your shit together is always easier said than done, but we’re here to tell you that you SHOULD feel accomplished when you treat your body right, regardless of the size of the gesture. Although this stay-at-home order truly sucks, seize the opportunity to manifest an elevated way of life, which always starts from the inside. You deserve it.
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